Animal Planet?

I'm not sure if this commercial has been airing in the U.S. (reminder: I'm in Canada at the moment), but I saw this last night on the Discovery Channel, and it made me rage the slightest bit. It was a commercial for Animal Planet, suggesting that if you don't already have the channel, you should contact your television provider for more information.

Do you remember that show that they used to have on Discovery Channel called "Wild Discovery?" Now imagine if they took the most insane, badass footage from that show and set it to fast, heart pounding percussion. That's what they showed on the commercial. Giraffes headbutting each other, lions taking down zebras by the throat, crocodiles lunging at antelopes riverbeds; all this awesome stuff that...well...just isn't on Animal Planet.

When I think Animal Planet, I think of horsies and kitties and puppies. Oh, and the slightly deranged people that dress their pets up in itty-bitty outfits. All that sickeningly cute stuff. Okay, once in a while they have stuff where some idiot in khakis goes out and does dumb shit with venomous animals. I guess those shows are alright. But I'd have to say that most of the stuff on Animal Planet isn't about wild animals doing their thing. It's more like "Animal+Meddling Human Planet". Dog shows, programs about hippies chasing whaling ships and shouting shit at them through megaphones, documentaries about saving endangered species; if that's your thing, then you probably already know about Animal Planet. I don't have a problem with those shows (or with you, if you happen to like them). I'm just confused as to what kind of channel Animal Planet wants to be. Does it aim to be "Wild Discovery" 24/7? Because hell, I'd watch that every day. But it's pretty clear that the channel focuses more on domesticated animals, which lions and zebras are not. If you're gonna show incredible displays of nature's awesomeness in a commercial, don't use it to advertise a channel that broadcasts the Puppy Bowl.

As you can see, I've been making great use of my vacation thus far.