Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Pic related
My face when I realized that I had no idea what I wanted to do for my senior writing project, and that the proposal was due in 9 days.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Secret of the Magic Crystals
Hi, Alex here. I may be neck deep in papers at the moment, but I feel that as a lifelong fan of video games, I absolutely must deliver the following exciting news to all those who claim to enjoy gaming:
Secret of the Magic Crystals is only $7 right now. Yes, this game is real, and yes, that is a fucking unicorn.
Let me back up a bit and explain what makes this game such an action-packed kick in the genitals. You see, the basic premise of the game is that you, the player, own a horse-breeding farm in a magical fantasy world. Through a series of over 30 missions, you breed Pegasi (whatver the plural of Pegasus is), elemental horses, and unicorns. You can command a parade of shiny steeds that prance the fuck around like they don’t give a rat’s ass. There are 25 races you can participate in and 5 different buildings that you can build with the winnings. What, you think you were participating in charity events or something? Fuck no! You can also decorate your stable with all kinds of shit; there are over 700 knick knacks and pieces of furniture that you can throw all over the fucking place. Now you’re probably thinking, “Holy balls, that sounds like a blast!” Hold your horses, you ain’t seen nothing yet.
How many potions do you think are in this game? If you said over 30 goddamn potions, you are abso-fucking-lutely correct. This is a fantasy land, bro. You don’t just feed your horses hay; this game has enchantments out the ass. It’s like giving horses steroids without having to worry about being investigated by some government committee. How many magical horseshoes do you think they packed into this shot of pure adrenaline? Same deal as before, over 30 horseshoes imbued with some fucking wizard magic that would make your horse back home just shit itself in a jealous rage.
Hopefully this all doesn’t sound too easy for you, because this game simply does not fuck around. You need to care for your horses so they don’t get tired or sick. You can feed them a variety of foods and keep them fit by exercising them on practice courses. But don’t you dare neglect your horses. This game will totally curb stomp your ass if you don’t love the shit out of them. This game has 5 difficulty levels, ranging from a stroll in the park to an unholy gauntlet of a competition that will peel your face off and nail it to the wall with your teeth. If this game were any more manly, my eyeballs would start producing sperm.
Sweet merciful Christ, why aren’t you buying this game right now? GO! This thing is only $7 right now. Unless you feel like this game is too hardcore for you, in which case you should go back to drinking your Ovaltine, you little pansy. Google this sonofabitch if you think you’re man enough, otherwise, go back to playing with your “action figures.”
Secret of the Magic Crystals is only $7 right now. Yes, this game is real, and yes, that is a fucking unicorn.Let me back up a bit and explain what makes this game such an action-packed kick in the genitals. You see, the basic premise of the game is that you, the player, own a horse-breeding farm in a magical fantasy world. Through a series of over 30 missions, you breed Pegasi (whatver the plural of Pegasus is), elemental horses, and unicorns. You can command a parade of shiny steeds that prance the fuck around like they don’t give a rat’s ass. There are 25 races you can participate in and 5 different buildings that you can build with the winnings. What, you think you were participating in charity events or something? Fuck no! You can also decorate your stable with all kinds of shit; there are over 700 knick knacks and pieces of furniture that you can throw all over the fucking place. Now you’re probably thinking, “Holy balls, that sounds like a blast!” Hold your horses, you ain’t seen nothing yet.
How many potions do you think are in this game? If you said over 30 goddamn potions, you are abso-fucking-lutely correct. This is a fantasy land, bro. You don’t just feed your horses hay; this game has enchantments out the ass. It’s like giving horses steroids without having to worry about being investigated by some government committee. How many magical horseshoes do you think they packed into this shot of pure adrenaline? Same deal as before, over 30 horseshoes imbued with some fucking wizard magic that would make your horse back home just shit itself in a jealous rage.
Hopefully this all doesn’t sound too easy for you, because this game simply does not fuck around. You need to care for your horses so they don’t get tired or sick. You can feed them a variety of foods and keep them fit by exercising them on practice courses. But don’t you dare neglect your horses. This game will totally curb stomp your ass if you don’t love the shit out of them. This game has 5 difficulty levels, ranging from a stroll in the park to an unholy gauntlet of a competition that will peel your face off and nail it to the wall with your teeth. If this game were any more manly, my eyeballs would start producing sperm.
Sweet merciful Christ, why aren’t you buying this game right now? GO! This thing is only $7 right now. Unless you feel like this game is too hardcore for you, in which case you should go back to drinking your Ovaltine, you little pansy. Google this sonofabitch if you think you’re man enough, otherwise, go back to playing with your “action figures.”
Monday, February 15, 2010
...and this is what college is like.
From the foreword of Monster Theory:
"Together, we explore what happens when monstrousness is taken seriously, as a mode of cultural discourse. This examination necessarily involves how the manifold boundaries (temporal, geographic, technological) that constitute "culture" become imbricated in the construction of the monster--a category that is itself a kind of limit case, an extreme version of marginalization, an abjecting epistemological device basic to the mechanics of deviance construction and identity formation"
"Together, we explore what happens when monstrousness is taken seriously, as a mode of cultural discourse. This examination necessarily involves how the manifold boundaries (temporal, geographic, technological) that constitute "culture" become imbricated in the construction of the monster--a category that is itself a kind of limit case, an extreme version of marginalization, an abjecting epistemological device basic to the mechanics of deviance construction and identity formation"
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Dinosaurs sure know how to make the bedrock
(THIS IS 100% REAL. ORIGINALLY POSTED BY GEEKOLOGIE.COM)
Tyrannosaurus Sex Premieres February 14th on Discovery Channel
At 10PM ET/PT
Tyrannosaurus Sex Premieres February 14th on Discovery Channel
At 10PM ET/PT
New York, NY, February 9, 2010 –– Birds do it, bees do it, and now with the magic of CGI, we can watch dinosaurs do it. This Valentine’s Day, February 14th at 10pm ET/PT on Discovery Channel, Locomotive Entertainment Group will premiere Tyrannosaurus Sex. The one-hour special explores the mysteries, wonders and newest evidence surrounding ritual courtship and mating habits of dinosaurs. How did a ferocious T-Rex woo his lady? How did a female Titanosaur support the weight of a male who was as long as a four-story building is high? How did a Stegosaurus couple negotiate sex with all those deadly plates and spikes?
“It is something they never showed us in the Jurassic Park films, that much I can tell you,” said Director and Locomotive President Gabriel Gornell. “Throughout the production process the support we received from the team over at the Discovery Channel has been unbelievable. We could never have pulled this off without them.”
Tyrannosaurus Sex doesn’t just answer the questions, it shows dinosaur sex in all its glory with state-of-the-art CGI animation. The scenes created for the special are all based on fact. Interviews with scientists on the cutting-edge of palaeontology bring new life to one of the last mysteries of these mighty giants.
Tyrannosaurus Sex premieres on Discovery Channel February 14th at 10pm ET/PT Eastern, for mature audiences only.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
IRL Shop
This looks shopped. I can tell from having watched my friend cut and tape this beauty together, and from seeing quite a few similarly desecrated objects in my time.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Angry Haitians block roads with corpses
Read the full story here.
My mental process when reading this:
1. That is so fucking METAL.
2. Seriously. Roadblocks made of CORPSES? Fucking brutal, man.
3. Wait, they're protesting the delayed emergency aid...by further delaying the emergency aid?
My mental process when reading this:
1. That is so fucking METAL.
2. Seriously. Roadblocks made of CORPSES? Fucking brutal, man.
3. Wait, they're protesting the delayed emergency aid...by further delaying the emergency aid?
Record Store Receipt - 1/15/10
Alice in Chains - Alice in Chains
Blind Guardian - A Night at the Opera
Secret Chiefs 3 - Book of Horizons
The Ocean - Precambrian
Irepress - Sol Eye Sea
The Andrews Sisters - 50th Anniversary Collection Vol. 1
...What? It's got "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" and "Civilization" on it!
Total - $14
Blind Guardian - A Night at the Opera
Secret Chiefs 3 - Book of Horizons
The Ocean - Precambrian
Irepress - Sol Eye Sea
The Andrews Sisters - 50th Anniversary Collection Vol. 1
...What? It's got "Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy" and "Civilization" on it!
Total - $14
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Crazy Bus
This is pretty much the worst thing I have ever heard. But I immediately clicked "favorite" on YouTube, so I'm not sure what to do...
Thursday, January 7, 2010
The best album cover I have ever seen
I'm currently downloading this, out of morbid curiosity.
Update: Not only is this halfway decent, no-frills death metal; the legendary Dan Swano is on lead guitar!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Record store receipt: 1/6/10
My first trip back to Princeton Record Exchange for 2010, and holy shit, what a good haul.Portishead - Dummy
Massive Attack - Mezzanine
Skinny Puppy - Last Rights
Devin Townsend - Infinity
Dir En Grey - Withering Away
The Shining - Halmstad
Gorod - Neurotripsticks
Miles Davis - Bitches Brew
Miles Davis - Kind of Blue
Cannonball Adderly - Somethin' Else
Total: $30.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
The first signs of the invetible robot takeover
Couple stranded for 3 days after GPS leads them astray
To be fair...they should know to use common sense. How many times have you been told by your GPS to turn onto a non-existent road? Hell, whenever I use Mapquest or Google Maps, the damn site tells me to drive to the end of my street (which has been a "no exit" street for over 15 years now) and through some bushes, a length of chain, and a sidewalk into the middle of the main road.
In the words of the Sheriff investigating the case: ""It will give you options to pick the shortest route. You certainly get the shortest route. But it may not be a safe route."
Or, in a more Patton Oswalt-esque sense: get ready for Murder GPS: The GPS that Murders You. Coming soon.
To be fair...they should know to use common sense. How many times have you been told by your GPS to turn onto a non-existent road? Hell, whenever I use Mapquest or Google Maps, the damn site tells me to drive to the end of my street (which has been a "no exit" street for over 15 years now) and through some bushes, a length of chain, and a sidewalk into the middle of the main road.
In the words of the Sheriff investigating the case: ""It will give you options to pick the shortest route. You certainly get the shortest route. But it may not be a safe route."
Or, in a more Patton Oswalt-esque sense: get ready for Murder GPS: The GPS that Murders You. Coming soon.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
I hope you felt like this guy on Christmas day
Man, he must have been DYING to move and resize photos on a phone.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)